gorilla haiku

What do they dream of

Curled up together tightly?

Milky mistiness.

String

My possessions aren’t as safe as they used to be. Pants, computer wire, fingers, socks, lamp, belt, earrings, jumpers and bags are searched for (in that order) and viciously attacked by tiny little teeth and claws. While this might bring great fulfilment to the two resident kittens it can get a bit much at times. This morning I found a new white hair. Yesterday there was a close call: I walked into the lounge just in time to see the sleeve of my white cardigan disappearing under the sofa accompanied by the soft sound of jubilant grunts. A sharp mind is required to keep on top of the constant onslaught. Top tip: distraction techniques. The less sophisticated the better. So when we tied an old ragged string – the edge of a faded tea towel – to the back of the wooden chair we gained an unusually long respite. With concentrated determination the battle of the string began.

Yayo

Noble old feline sitting tall

Sniffs disdainfully at a passing fly,

Set aside all alone

Quietly avoiding a brawl,

Angular lines, long whiskers imply

Sad times he has known.

A monstrous threat

The habitual peace and tranquillity of a garden refuge for abandoned cats is suddenly shattered by the piercing shriek of a small male child. Urgently pushing his greasy face up against the fence he tries to force his stubby, fat fingers through the mesh holes.

“Urghh. Urgg.” He grunts.

And then more urgently, “Eeeeerg. Urrrrrrrrrg.”

The three cats who had been dozing in the quarter hastily retreat behind the nearest tree.
Boy lets out a frustrated howl, letting his jaw drop down to his chest, revealing a fowl mouth of yellowing teeth.

“Muuuuuuuuuuum. Muuuuuuuuuuuuuum. I want a cat. I want that cat. Give it to me nooooooooooooow. I want it now.” He jabs one thumb in the direction of unsuspecting Vania, a gentle black giant who leaps away in horror.

Mum chips in “It’s ok darling. Don’t cry my precious.”

She calls out through the fence. “Hey! Yeah, you. You over there! You giving these cats out? I’ll take that one. That ugly black thing.”

Boy interrupts “Give it to me noooooooooow. Muuuuum. Tell them to give it me noooow.”

Vania turns his back on them and calmly stalks away to the far side of the garden. He sits proudly with his back turned, cleaning his face. Suddenly he pounces an unsuspecting fly. Then he returns to his washing routine.

A starry adventure

The other side of town

Visiting the "really quite rich though not necessarily famous" involves a healthy hike: in order not to risk sinking as low as public transport the wannabes simply ordered the city council not to construct any metro or bus stops in the zone. Whilst they don't quite live as high up on the hill as the "really far too rich and quite probably famous", they are still high enough for the wind to feel ever so slightly cooler.

Here the convenience of high street chains has been abandoned in favour of obscure and surprisingly somewhat pokey boutiques. Displayed on glossy headless mannequins are street-long parades of almost-not faux fur coats with random tassels, definitely faux Eton jackets and miniscule lacy, baby-pink ballerina dresses. The impracticalities of such an existence are embraced by beady-eyed ladies who patrol the local park with ugly, overpriced designer dogs trained to sniff out any wandering, trespassing vagabonds. This probably explains the chorus of yaps as I walk past. A select number of people below the “standard stipend” are expected to be seen out of doors from time to time: the starched white uniform ought however to be worn and a brisk pace should be maintained in order to prevent instant excommunication to the immigrant barrios way down below. An occasional insurgent slips through the net: a toothless sinewy old man whizzes past the poodles, gleefully intoxicated by the speed of his rollerblades, his spiky red T-shirt billowing rebelliously; a not quite yummy mummy tosses a crisp packet into the gutter; a blazered teen with knee-high socks crouches behind a tree coughing a cigarette.