Wolverhampton journal 1: Tips on procreation

Choosing a new hairdresser in a new town can be a daunting task. But this time I’m feeling fairly confident. This place comes highly recommended. I enter the dimly lit ground floor where a panda-eyed teenager sits, ideally filing her nails. With a grunt and a yawn she gestures towards a staircase. Upstairs I find two girls singing along to Heart FM (Beyonce: "Single Ladies"), as they sweep up clouds of bleached and black hair. The shorter girl smiles and points towards the corner chair, so I take my own coat off and hang it on a cluttered stand and sit down, wishing my hands were not quite so clammy.

Hairdresser: Highlights today is it?
Anna: Um, no. I’d just like a simple cut... perhaps a couple of inches off.
Hairdresser: Right (* she twiddles her comb idly through Anna’s hair) Over to the sink then.
*hairdresser vigorously washes Anna’s hair, taking little care not to let dribbles of water slide down the back of the neck. She then returns Anna to the chair and gets to work on the cut.
Hairdresser: Doesn’t sound like you’re from round here.
Anna: No. I’ve actually just moved here to be with my boyfriend.
Hairdresser: ooooh! Having a baby soon then?
Anna: Umm... no. Not just yet.
Hairdresser: How old are you?
Anna: Ummm... I’m twenty-nine.
Hairdresser: Twenty-nine??? You better start soon. I’m twenty and we are already trying, my boyfriend and me. You’ll have to have them soon or they’ll come out deformed.
Anna: Oh. (*closes her eyes and counts to ten, nervously plays with her fingers)
Hairdresser: You know, I’ve heard some women over forty try and have a baby. Forty! It’s disgusting.
Anna: (* clears throat)
Hairdresser: Mind you. You don’t look twenty-nine ... so your kids will probably be ok. Not strange, like. I wouldn’t waste no time though... to make sure.

exile

Wishing you all a...

Charity Christmas Cards

Over the last week or so Barcelona City Council has been busy climbing up large mechanical ladders, attaching Christmas lights. While Christmas doesn’t come as quickly and as incessantly here as it does in the U.K. there is no longer any denying that it is rapidly on its yearly way. At the cat sanctuary a few cats have started to sneeze, and there is a lot more huddling together going on. I thought I would like to try to raise some money to help cover additional winter vet bills.

Soooo...I have designed and made all the cards you can see below. The pictures have been made using Wordpaint and I have produced these images as photos which have been glued onto cards. Each picture can be purchased on either shiny white or matt green. They come with a matching envelope and are individually packaged (very professionally ;->) in little plastic covers. I have taken pictures of all of the finished cards but as they are shiny surfaces there is a bit of light blur and so I have also included the images below each card example so that you can have a clearer idea of how they will look.

Order directly from me and all proceeds will go to the cat sanctuary, El jardinet dels gats, (http://www.eljardinetdelsgats.org/en/).

Buy 1 card for €2 OR 5 cards for €7.

I am happy to post them to you for whatever the p+p comes to.

At least take the time to browse below and feel free to pass this on to any friends that might be interested:

1) Angels



2) Shepherd

3) Manager a+b

> As you can see this one comes in two different colours.


4) King

5) Bethlehem

6) Donkey

You can also place an order by emailing me at annasthought.hotmail.com.

gorilla haiku

What do they dream of

Curled up together tightly?

Milky mistiness.

String

My possessions aren’t as safe as they used to be. Pants, computer wire, fingers, socks, lamp, belt, earrings, jumpers and bags are searched for (in that order) and viciously attacked by tiny little teeth and claws. While this might bring great fulfilment to the two resident kittens it can get a bit much at times. This morning I found a new white hair. Yesterday there was a close call: I walked into the lounge just in time to see the sleeve of my white cardigan disappearing under the sofa accompanied by the soft sound of jubilant grunts. A sharp mind is required to keep on top of the constant onslaught. Top tip: distraction techniques. The less sophisticated the better. So when we tied an old ragged string – the edge of a faded tea towel – to the back of the wooden chair we gained an unusually long respite. With concentrated determination the battle of the string began.

Yayo

Noble old feline sitting tall

Sniffs disdainfully at a passing fly,

Set aside all alone

Quietly avoiding a brawl,

Angular lines, long whiskers imply

Sad times he has known.